Handle rejection online dating
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Rejection knows no bounds, invading social, romantic and job situations alike.And it feels terrible because "it communicates the sense to somebody that they're not loved or not wanted, or not in some way valued," explains Geraldine Downey, Ph.
Plus, the more people learn to expect rejection and become concerned about it, the more sensitive they are to it -- which can eventually lead to self-rejection, Downey tells Huff Post.
"It makes you feel bad about yourself, and it makes you feel like nobody wants to be around you.
It makes you feel angry."The human experience of rejection goes back to our ancient roots, says Winch, who is the author of "Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies For Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injures" (Hudson Street Press, 2013).
He has a chapter in his book dedicated specifically to rejection.
"When we were hunter-gatherers and living in tribes, the price of ostracism was pretty much death," Winch tells Huff Post.
"You wouldn't survive without your tribe; you wouldn't have the warmth of hearth, the protection of fire." Therefore, he explains, we developed an early warning system -- the feeling of rejection -- to alert us when we might be at risk for ostracism.
The more painful the experience of rejection, the more likely humans were to change their behavior to Indeed, a 2011 brain imaging study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that social rejection and physical pain both prompt activity in the brain regions of the secondary somatosensory cortex and the dorsal posterior insula.
And a study published this year in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience shows that the posterior insular cortex and secondary somatosensory cortex parts of the brain are activated both when A small study from University of Michigan Medical School researchers also showed that the brain's mu-opioid receptor system releases natural painkillers, or opioids, in response to social pain.
This happens to be the same system that releases opioids in the face of physical pain.
There is also some evidence that social rejection isn't benign when it comes to health.
A small study in the journal Clinical Psychological Science showed an association between the beginning processes of inflammation and rejection in teen girls at risk for depression.
And as neuroscience jouranlist Maia Szalavitz points out in a Reuters blog post, childhood bullying -- which at its core involves elements of rejection and ostracism -- has been linked with depression rates, crime and reduced employment.