I learned the ropes of dating on the fly, and somehow I made it to the chuppah.
My husband was given really great advice when he was dating: “Men and women are already different enough.Find someone you have something in common with.” After 11 years of marriage, I concur – men and women are different.And the more you have in common, the easier it will be to adapt to married life.Yes opposites can attract, but they sometimes have a challenging time staying together. Notice it not because you are egocentric, but rather because you are trying to identify your other half.Don’t misunderstand me: there will be differences between you and your spouse. By identifying the first half of the soul mate – yourself – you’ll be better equipped to search the world for your super spouse.No matter how alike you are there will definitely be enough ways in which you are different. Over time you will hopefully come to appreciate and value those differences. While you’ve been searching for your soul mate, your best friend has too.
But don’t go looking for someone so different from yourself. What happens when your best friend finds love before you? Her story is what we’ve been dreaming of and praying for – I'm getting married, moving to another city, YAY!If you really want a super spouse, make sure you’re super too (inside and out). A client of mine shared the following: “When my friends got married it was pretty traumatic. But my story is saying goodbye to my roommate of five years and looking for a new roommate, a new best friend, and a husband.” The girl getting married is probably not all-consumed with how her marriage will affect her best friend.And chances are the friend being “left behind” isn’t thinking all that much about how marriage will affect her best friend’s life.Both sides are consumed with the change in their own lives.You can weather the changes with a balanced approach – keep both self and other in mind.Acknowledge what you’re thinking and how you are feeling. But after you’ve taken good care of yourself, it’s time to think of your friend. (This isn’t meant to scare you, but rather to prepare you.) Stay in touch with your friend.