Atlantic magazine internet dating
Atlantic magazine internet dating - dating a scorpio female
The Atlantic recently published an excerpt from journalist Dan Slater’s upcoming book.The piece was headlined, “A Million First Dates: How Online Romance Is Threatening Monogamy,” and was accompanied by a series of illustrations showing a scruffy young guy who is more riveted by his online dating service than the women in his real life (surely you can picture the artwork without even seeing it; just imagine any illustration that has ever accompanied an article about video games or porn).
” and “What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track?”In the excerpt, Slater doesn’t answer these questions conclusively, but he does give an example of a young man who feels that online dating has encouraged him to play the field, and he quotes a dating site exec who wonders whether the efficiency of Web matchmaking will make marriage “obsolete.” In this day and age, them’s still fighting words, and the Atlantic knew it.The magazine’s website was quick to host a handful of responses to Slater’s piece, as writers all over the Web piled on.The arguments were varied — that people use dating sites for love, not sex, that the experience of it makes them long even more for commitment, that online dating is not nearly as fun as Slater’s experts suggest, that modern relationships would be done “a service” by reducing the pressure to be monogamous and that Slater relied too heavily on the biased source of online dating executives to support his thesis and failed to include quotes from any women, not to mention queer people.All extremely valid points — but the book itself, “Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating,” is actually more nuanced, objective, wide-ranging and inclusive.In the book, Slater writes, “As the world adjusts to the new reality that technology provides, many traditions and taboos surrounding meeting and mating are on their way out, and more will likely fall, replaced by whichever new theories of relationship happiness win out in a marketplace of possibilities that never in history has been so vast,” he continues.
“Monogamy is not going away, and neither is infidelity.
Rather, it is the way we make sense of these behaviors, the values and labels and portent we place on them, that will evolve.”He resists making any sweeping predictions (although some of his sources do not): The takeaway from the book isn’t that online dating is necessarily killing monogamy as a whole, but that it is influencing the way, and whether, people pair up, and what those relationships look like, in a multitude of ways.
More than anything, Slater sees technology as a healing salve for one of the worst feelings there is: loneliness.
I spoke to Slater by phone about the controversy, the larger points in the book about the pairing of love and tech, and — wait for it — his upcoming nuptials.
Of course we have to start with the controversy over the Atlantic excerpt. Obviously people felt very deeply about it, which I was happy to see.
What surprised me was the strength of the emotion, and I think that had partly to do with what I wrote and partly to do with how the Atlantic framed the excerpt — to have monogamy in the title and yet the word “monogamy” appears only once in the article, and in the context of a quote from a guy who runs a dating site for cheaters.